I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
