I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
