Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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