I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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