That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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