he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
