so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
is it fun? or sober?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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