something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
