So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
