I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
