Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
