We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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