If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize