my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
