Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
