i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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