Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
