I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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