I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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