From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
