This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
