I skipped work to stalk him.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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