just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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