It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
