Say something about gay babies.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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