i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
