just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize