"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
