maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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