today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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