Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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