youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize