I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
