Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
