Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
