Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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