I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
