Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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