I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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