something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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