Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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