I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
