well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
