I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
