Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
