Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
