Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
