thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
