i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
