Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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