He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
