Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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