I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Are my feet made of real feet?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
