sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
