My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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