How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
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