I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
