i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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