He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
