I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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