Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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